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Thank you for allowing me to enter your
"LEGACIES" writing contest. I would like to
tell my great-grandchildren (God willing) one of my many
experiences while working for the Internal Revenue
Service (IRS) over 25 years.
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When I began working for the IRS in the 60's, one of my
first assignments as a Collection Officer was to attempt
to collect "Erroneous Refunds". Sometimes a
taxpayer filed his personal tax return and asked for a
refund of monies that he may have over-paid during the
year. Occasionally, the IRS would send back to the
taxpayer the wrong amount. It was my assignment to
collect these erroneous amounts sent to taxpayers ONLY if
the amount returned was MORE than the amount due. The IRS
couldn't be bothered with underpayments. One day I
received a "bill" on a single gentleman named
Hector Fernandez I think, at least it was a Spanish
surname. He lived at 814 1/2 Crescent Lane in SantaAna.
What caught my eye was the "1/2"; in those
days, anyone who lived at an address with "1/2"
in its' number, usually was poor because it was behind a
house with a "whole" number. Anyway, Mr.
Fernandez asked for a refund of $200. and received a
check from the IRS for $25,200 approximately 18 months
before. It was my job to collect the erroneous $25,000.
Mr. Fernandez could keep any interest he may have gained
from the extra monies since it was our mistake; just
return the over-payment of $25,000. That morning I went
to 814 1/2 Crescent Lane and as I figured, it was a
"run-down" shack behind a fairly decent home. I
noticed the roof, made of brittle shingles,hanging
loosely. The front door appeared to be a little off its
hinges and may not be able to withstand my knock. I
tapped hesitantly. After a few moments, the door opened
slightly and without seeing the person inside, I asked;
"Mr. Fernandez?" Noisily, the door opened
outwardly. Hector Fernandez was a thin man, about 75
years old, needing a shave and in a wheelchair. Looking
down at him I said, "I'm Stan Cohen from the
Internal Revenue Service. May I come in?" Nervously,
I fumbled with my credentials and business card, placing
both on his lap. "Yes, please do" he said,
returning my identification, wheeling smartly around.
"I've been expecting you." The door creaked
closed behind me. I was in a one-room home with an oil
cloth (ask your grandma about oil cloth) covered kitchen
table with numerous pictures of an older woman and a
younger family that took up most of the space on the
table. In this one room, there was a small, dirty stove
and sink and an old Army cot, apparently where Mr.
Fernandez slept. I saw no toilet. Next to the cot, I saw
a small suitcase, possibly packed. "Before you do
what you have to do, I would like to tell you a little
story. Would you join me in a cup of tea?" he asked
in a very heavy and difficult to understand accent.
"If you have coffee...instant would be fine," I
answered. What a dumb thing to ask. He quickly prepared
the drinks and began his story. I said nothing.
"About a year and a half ago, I sent in my Income
Tax Return asking for a refund of $200. My wife of 42
years died 12 years ago and left me some ATT stock.
That's a picture of her." He pointed to the picture
of the older woman on our table. "...ATT withholds
some of my dividends for tax payments and that year they
told me they sent you people too much. I asked for $200
back." I sipped my luke-warm, instant coffee that
was much too strong. Mr. Fernandez continued.
"...after a few months, I received this check in the
mail from the IRS. I didn't look at the amount thinking
it was my refund check for $200. I took it to my bank on
the corner, filled out a deposit slip for $200 and went
to the teller. When she looked at the check and the
deposit slip she told me that the check was for $25,200
not just $200 as I wrote. Somebody had made a terrible
mistake. I only thought I was getting $200 back and now I
had all this money. I wheeled over to my friend, the bank
manager." I couldn't take much more of my coffee. I
put down the cup. "The bank manager told me he had
heard about the IRS sending too much money back, and if I
deposited all the money in my account, I could keep any
money it made me and just pay back the original amount
you sent me in your mistake. Was he right?" I broke
my silence. "He was absolutely right. All we
want,...", he interrupted. He had gotten new
confidence. "I didn't think that I should take all
that money. I took the check home and mailed it back to
the return address on the envelope. About a month later
the same check for $25,200 came back with no explanation.
I called the phone number I saw listed in the newspaper
and spoke to a woman. She said to put a note with the
check with my name, address and Social Security Number in
another envelope and mail it to her and she would take
care of it. I did that and in another month a new check
came in the mail for $25,200, the same amount." I
fidgeted in my chair; the coffee made me need to go to
the bathroom. "I called my daughter, that's her
family there, who said I should deposit the money in the
bank and wait until I received another letter. I did
that; you are the first I've heard from the IRS since
then." I broke my silence. "Fine," I said.
"All you need do is write me a check for $25,000 and
I'll be on my way." "But there's more to the
story" he said. Oh, oh, here it comes; I said under
my breath. I was quiet again.
"After I deposited the money in the bank, the
monthly bank statements began coming in; first $25,950,
then $26,425, then $26,005 and so on. Here was all this
money just sitting there, not doing nothing. I thought
much about that money. I called my daughter, who agreed
with me." "I am 77 years old, in a wheelchair,
not feeling well; I could not spend too much time in jail
before I died. I decided to spend the money!!!" He
said it as if he were very proud of himself. He went on.
"All my life I wanted to see the world; see those
places I've just read about. Travel the world, that's
what I did with your money. I got a ticket, first class,
to go
around the world on the Queen Elizabeth II for 65 days.
We went to Hawaii, Tahiti, Fiji, Tokyo, Bangkok,
Indonesia, Calcutta, Israel, Egypt, France, England, New
York, Florida, through the Panama Canal and then back
here to Los Angeles." He rattled off the names. He
spoke much quicker and louder. "They all treated me
like a King. I went first class, you remember. A steward
was assigned just to me to take me and show me all the
new places. I saw that lady's palace in India, the Pope
on a balcony in Rome (he crossed himself), those guards
at the Queen's home in London. It was like a fairy tale
come true." He stopped; there was a far-away look in
his eyes. He paused, his voice was lower again, the heavy
accent returned. He wheeled over to the packed suitcase,
put it on his lap, wheeled back to the table, and opened
the suitcase. It was full with all the paraphernalia for
a 'round-the-world' trip. Besides all those colorful
pictures, there were a few clothes and some toilet
articles in the suitcase. "Here are all the
pamphlets, brochures and receipts for the money I
spent." "Here is the last statement I received
last week from the bank. It shows only $7,892.14 remain.
I'm ready, Mr. Cohen. Take me to jail." Mr.
Fernandez, head down, put his two wrists together in
front of him and wept. It was difficult looking at him
through glazed eyes. I thought for, what seemed like, a
very long time. I still had to go to the toilet. After a
few minutes I said, "Mr. Fernandez, give me back my
business card." He fumbled with all the papers in
front of him. "I don't understand", he said.
"Give me back my card," I repeated. "If
anyone should ask, you never saw me or heard from the
IRS. Do you understand?" "Yes," he said,
"But what are you going to do?" I rose,
"Thank you for the coffee," I said and left his
room. Those were the last words I ever spoke to or heard
from Mr. Fernandez. After a trip to the bathroom, I
returned to my office and wrote my report.
"Hector Fernandez, 814 1/2 Crescent Avenue,
Santa Ana, CA 92701, SSN 567-22-1034,
UTL - Unable to Locate"
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