(FOR JUNE 13 CHRIS MEYER)

...."please, no cameras or picture taking in the gallery." That's what my tour guide said as he began to describe what I was about to see in my latest visit to Huntington Beach's downtown Art Center, on Main Street. I was taking advantage of the free tours every other Thursday, like today at 12:30 PM.

....as we entered the first of three, white rooms, I was struck by the emptiness of a 20 x 20 foot wall. At a closer look, to my surprise, it wasn't empty. The wall had a single shirt button stuck to it. The title of this masterpiece? "Shirt Button"

....of course.

....in the center of the room, was an exhibit of many dirty shirt collars entitled, "Dirty Shirt Collars", piled up and held together by bronze. At any time, I invite my readers to my home to take pictures of my wife's laundry basket and see the same exhibit.

....the tour of the first room ended with a frame-less group of shirt labels reading "Sakowitz" stuck to a wall with pins, and entitled...you guessed right, "Sakowitz".

....in the artists biographical sketch, it says, "...the elegance and symmetry of Havel's work is anomalous among that of his generation." If this is a sample of this generation, are we in trouble.

....but the best was yet to come. In the second room, I was treated to objects such as erasers, paper clips, silicone, glass, medicine pills, sponges, key rings and even Wonder Bread packages. These objects, arranged on the walls, sometimes framed, sometimes freely attached by pins and nails, were mostly,

...."Untitled".

....this "artist" could have gathered his "materials" from my work bench in my garage. His artistic ability to carefully cut out the word "Wonder" from Wonder Bread white bread and muffin packages was truly amazing. Sure beat my young niece.

....and finally, the third room was devoted to photos of women and children. These 22 snapshots, NOT paintings, were of "Artists Who are Mothers". The tour guide's handout explained the camera work. In part, it read, "

...the year I turned 36, I went from being a single woman living on my own, doing performance art and making wood sculpture to a married mother of a baby boy, trying to get some sleep." If you look through your family photo album you can easily pick out the same pictures and remember the same words.

....the tour was over. I thanked my guide and left the gallery muttering to myself, "Is this what I am asked to pay $150,000 of my tax money to keep operating?" Peter Green, HB City Council person you were right in questioning this expenditure.

....Pat and I recently returned from Boston, Mass. where we viewed the Winslow Homer exhibition at the Museum of Fine Arts. Those were paintings! That was an exhibit! Take me back to the 19th Century.

....can't we enjoy paintings, real paintings and sculptures, in our small Art Center and not some, as the bio says,

"...sculptures and pictures using inventive new forms and oddly elegant, if obsolete, non-art materials."?

....if you want to see some real and beautiful paintings, go to Huntington Beach's Central Library and view young Laura Buelt's "Best of Show" winner, "Morning Bath". Now that's a painting.