....you know you're getting old when passing a Victoria Secret shop, you don't even look in the window.

....you allow your husband to go out with the "boys" and fall asleep before he comes home.

....your back goes out more than you do.

....you take pills for your memory to remember to take pills for your arthritis.


....you remember when Mitsubishi made only Dive Bombers and "Zeros".

....a little old lady opens the door for YOU!

....you remember what you did 30 years ago but forget what you did 30 days ago.

....you STOP looking forward to your next birthday.

....the kids "boom-box" is no longer the loudest thing in your house, its Dan Rather's CBS News.

....you buy for comfort and convenience rather than looks and style.

....every car around you appears to be speeding.

....the commercials on TV appear funnier than the sit-coms they sponsor.

....you awake before your alarm and forget to shut it off.

....you don't know who to root for at the Oscars and/or Emmys because you haven't seen any of the nominated movies or TV shows.

....the aches and pains that your parents had now mean something to YOU.

....you read the obituaries.

....you are now more conservative than liberal.

....work begins to be a lot less fun and fun begins to be a lot more work.

....you know there are 3 ways you know you're getting older. First is a loss of memory and forget the second and third.

....it takes longer to rest than get tired.

....as a woman, you go off your diet and the men in your office start treating you like one of the boys.

....you fall asleep at an "X-rated" movie.

....lifting weights consists of just standing up.

....you have the money to burn but the fire has gone out.

....the clerk at your local store gives you a Senior Discount without your asking.

....your children call you Ma & Pop and begin to look middle-aged.

....you smile at your children and/or grandchildren and remember.

....retailers stop asking for proof of your birth date.

....you try to stop when the traffic signal turns yellow.

....you think more about money than sex.

....your children ask you to play catch with them and you take a Motrin before doing it.

....you would rather nap than watch television.

....you remember when you used to receive a drinking glass with every fill-up at the gas pump.

....you realize how important religion is.

....you remember that back packs used to be called knapsacks and worn only by soldiers.

....you can't stand people who are intolerant

....you sit in a rocking chair and can't make it go.

....this is YOUR column! Thanx again for your help.